FUTURE POSSIBILITIES

As I sit here this evening, trying to put jumbled thoughts and ideas into some semblance of order, I am floundering. It seems as if a lifetime has passed since I last sat and stared at this empty white expanse.

Over the last few days, the desire to once again put words to paper has continued to grow in me, creating a need that has long been dormant.

Off and on over the years I have felt this need, as if my very being were in some way attached to the white expanse that took my thoughts so effortlessly, filling in with the essence of my life.

I stare at the white square, heart beating quickly, as I pray for just the right thing to fill it with.

A remembered lesson perhaps?

A kind deed received?

A hint of romance hidden in the day to day living of an imagined friend?

Shared minutes with beloved family that are all too soon memories to be tucked into pages of a book?

Maybe, just for now, it is enough to see this white expanse fill with thoughts of future possibilities while my heart fills with joy and contentment.

Oh how I have missed this!

How I have missed the way thoughts and words tumble through my fingertips to pour out according to the Lord’s leading!

This is my comfort zone. This is my niche.

It is like coming home.

© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com, 2013

MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY

When I started On Faith and Writing a year ago, it was because I had submitted a manuscript to a publisher and then found all this advice on developing a following before getting published.

I set up a twitter account, found others in the writing industry and followed them to find out all I needed to know.  It was after reading an article by Michael Hyatt (Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers) that I decided to start my own WordPress blog site.

My beginning posts were about the struggles I was having getting the time to do any writing; about my family and my faith.

As time went by, I found that my writing was becoming more and more about Biblical truths, God’s love for us, and the need for salvation.

God was working things around so that I was using my writing to reach others for His kingdom, while giving me an outlet for all the words and ideas that filled my head.

He opened the door for me to become a contributing writer at Christian Blessings, which has allowed me to have a larger territory of influence.  Admittedly, I have not been contributing there as often as I should because of the other obligations that have filled my time to the point of overflowing; but I am praying that somehow He will free up some of that time so that I can once again write for there like I had originally intended.

As the year unfolded, I found my faith growing and my reliance on His guidance to be an automatic response.

When I began this adventure, I sat and wrote without much thought on where the words were coming from.  I mean, I knew the ideas and words were from the Lord, but did not think about His working in my thoughts and through the writing process.

As I have told some of you in response to your comments, I have recently reached the point of relying solely on His guidance when I write.  My short stories come to me one sentence at a time.  And when I write a short story, if it has more than one part, I find that when I publish the first part, I have no idea what comes next.

In the story that I am currently working on, I published part one, then began to panic with the thought “What if I can’t figure out what to write next?”  I had already put part one out there, how humiliating would it be if I could not come up with any more of the story?

It was then that the Lord reminded me that it was not me that was writing those stories, it was Him “dictating” to me what He wanted written.  (And I mean that dictating as in a boss dictating a letter, not a tyrant forcing his words on me.  🙂 )

The following week, I sat at my computer late the night before the next part was supposed to be posted, with no idea of what came next.  I prayed for the words, and they were given to me, one word, one sentence at a time.  When there were no more words, I sat and waited for what came next; but felt the Lord’s telling me that it was enough for now.  There would be more when the next part was needed.

And there is the other major lesson that I have been learning on this journey.

Over the past months I have been blessed with reading Debbie’s Two Minutes of Grace.  Her writing has been so uplifting, but so thought provoking at the same time.

But I began to see that I did not understand the concept of grace at all.  I guess I had never really thought about it, just accepted it without any understanding of it.

I began to pray for a deeper understanding of God’s love and grace, His mercy and kindness.

He has been showing me examples of it through this writing process.

In the afore mentioned direction of the current short story, I began to feel like the Israelites being given just enough manna to get through the day.  There was always just enough for the day, with none left over for the next.

That is the way my writing has evolved.  With a total reliance on God’s direction and will, and it is only just enough for that post, with the next part being an empty page until it is needed.

He has begun to show me through this process just what His grace and mercy is all about; but it is an ongoing journey that will continue.

As Dwight L Moody wrote in Sovereign Grace “Oh, let us seek to realize our continual dependence on this grace every moment!  ‘More grace!  more grace!’ should be our continual cry.  But the infinite supply is commensurate with the infinite need.  The treasury of grace, though always emptying is always full”


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As I have continued to journey on in this world of blogging, faith, and dependence on the Lord, I have met many wonderful people who have uplifted, encouraged, prayed and blessed.

I thank all of you sincerely for all that you have done, and all that you have come to mean to me.  The Lord has blessed me deeply with your love and friendship.

I would like to apologize for not coming to visit you as often as you come here.

The past few months have been extremely busy, with personal problems and issues that have to be dealt with — illnesses, injuries, deaths, and family conflict.  Not to mention family needs that are reliant on my time and energy.

I have been unable to find uninterrupted time to visit you more often, or even to finish rewriting my manuscript and get it resubmitted.

Lord willing, these things will be resolved soon and I will have more free time to  finish my novel and to get back into your blogs.  They bless and encourage and I find I miss you when I am unable to visit.

It seems hard to believe that my first post was a year ago today.  (If you missed it, I reposted it Monday.)

Time has slipped speedily by bringing with it many trials intermingled with many blessings.

God willing, I will have another year to serve Him with my writing and my time.

Thank you all again for your love and friendship.  May He bless your lives abundantly with all that is in His will for you.

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Those personal trials and conflicts seem to be taking up more and more of my time, instead of less right now.  I feel the Lord leading me to take some time away from here and concentrate solely on those things that need to be dealt with, instead of trying to juggle everything the way I have been.  No matter how hard I have tried to be otherwise, this division of my time has become a source of tension and stress for me, and I feel I need to resolve these issues without the added distraction of blogging.  Please pray with me that God works in these circumstances and brings about His will, according to His time.

Not knowing how long that will be, I am not sure when I will be getting back to you.  I have a few posts written and will have them ready to post over the next few weeks.  Greg and plantingpotatoes, God willing, I will also keep going with my short story and not make you wait until September to finish it.  🙂  Jeanne, this break will also be used to spent more time with my family and we have already talked about taking day trips to get those pictures of Central New York.

I will rejoin you all as soon as the Lord shows me it is time to come back.  I am praying God’s blessing for each of you.

© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com, 2012