God Is Moving

Good morning.

It is quiet today. Not so quiet as it’s been for these past six months, but still quiet compared to what it was like a year ago.

My heart breaks for all those that have suffered through these past months, the loss of loved ones, finances and health have certainly taken a toll on those around us.

But, if I am honest – and I have a tendency to be painfully honest – I have enjoyed these months of forced separation. As I have previously admitted, I am a ‘home-body’; preferring to be at home with a hot cup of coffee and either my Bible or a good book. (And I have read quite a few during this shutdown, but I will save that for later.)

I have wondered what the Lord was doing in this pandemic; why He was allowing it and how He was using it to bring about His perfect will. I have heard more than one minister, Christian talk-show host, or prophecy scholar say that it was giving us time to press into the Lord; to abide under His wings and walk closer into His perfect will.

The pause basically left us with time to spend on our relationship with Him – took us away from the outside influences that seem to suck up all of our time and attention, took us away from each other, and left us with only Him to turn to.

And I have seen that here, in my life.

I had been asking for more time to spend with Him, more time to spend in His Word and in conversation with Him. I am in no way suggesting that my prayer for a closer walk is what brought about this enforced shutdown; but it turned out to be an answer to my prayers nonetheless.

Through things going on with me personally and things that are going on in the lives of those closest to me, I have found my faith and my trust in my Heavenly Father growing exponentially.

It is when you have had your earthly support system stripped away, when you are forced to stand alone and face an uncertain future, that His strength is what we need to rely on.

Over the years I had my earthly support system taken from me, leaving me standing alone with just Jesus to turn to; and I have learned that He is really all that I need. These past months have solidified that knowledge for me; and because of my acknowledgment of my complete dependence on Him, He has begun to rebuild my support system with at least one person that is so strong in the faith, it makes me crave that same depth of Spirit-filled life.

And, Praise God! He is leading me into a Holy-Spirit-led existence that far exceeds anything I have ever known. He is leading me in my prayer life, in a spiritual battle for people around me, showing me how to use the power of Jesus’ name to fight for family and friends.

And I am seeing, and feeling, evidence of His love and mercy.

I have a family member that has been suffering through debilitating physical injuries and financial loss due to losing his job. I have been praying for his healing and have had my ‘mentor’ praying also. It was during a phone call with this person that they began to pray for the suffering family member, and as they prayed, thoughts came into my head. And with each thought that came into my mind, the person praying began to pray those exact things. Soon, tears were running down my face as I realized that God was moving within the situation and was both hearing my thoughts and directing the prayer. And when this person began to pray for me, and how I was to respond to my concern for the hurting family member, I immediately felt a Presence at my shoulder and saw a ‘form’ out of the corner of my eye. And then I could feel an actual physical warmth and pressure on my arms and sides as if someone had wrapped a heavy, warm blanket tightly around me. It was not my imagination, but a physical pressure and weight that enveloped me like a blanket. I was bathed in the warmth and love of my Savior, filled to overflowing with His presence and strength.

I have spent many a time on my knees, tears streaming down my face for loved ones, claiming the power of Jesus’ blood, shed at the cross, crying out for healing and restoration; and have gotten clear assurance that He is in control of these situations and that I am to lean into Him and trust Him while He works through them.

And, with my growing faith and prayer life, I have continued to pray for this nation.

One of the books I have read is “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson. This book inspired me to find photos online of the White House, the Capital Building and the Supreme Court and to pray over them as I circle them with my finger.

I watch the riots and destruction going on in liberal cities and again wonder why the Lord is allowing it. I have come up with a few possibilities.

  1. He will continue to expose the corruption and evil that is rampant and use the knowledge to reach the people and bring about a world-wide awakening.
  2. He will use this to bring about the complete control of the nation to the socialists and usher in a time of persecution of all those that oppose them.
  3. He will use this to bring about the complete collapse of this nation; which will set the stage for the Rapture and the seven year Tribulation.
  4. All of the above in whatever order He so chooses.

But, whatever His will, I think it will be powerful and unmistakable.

And maybe that is why He is allowing these things to happen at this time. To get our attention away from this world. To focus our attention back on Him and to prepare us for what is coming.

© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com, 2020

Psalm 51: Responding to God

I sit here today, listening to the breeze in the cottonwood outside the kitchen door, loving the sound of the leaves gently rustling against each other; and I am in awe of my Lord. He has once again shown me in unmistakable ways His love and mercy and grace. He has once again lovingly guided me to a lesson I need to learn. To Him alone goes the Glory!

I began writing a post Saturday, after having spent many hours searching out verses on prayer and reading those books on prayer. After having been ‘schooled’ by my Savior on recognizing the sin in my life that was hindering my prayers, I sat down and began putting my thoughts down on ‘paper’ (or this blank white screen as the case may be). I wrote about praying Psalm 139:23&24; but then wondering why my prayers were not being answered.

And then yesterday morning at church the guest speaker talked on Psalm 51. He pointed out that a right relationship with God begins with our realization of God’s righteousness, His love and justice, and our rebellion against Him. He noted that our relationship with God depends on how we respond to what we know about Him and about the sin in our lives. Our response will lead to repentance, that repentance will lead to renewal, restoration and revival.

These thoughts brought about a bit of questioning to my heart as I listened, because all that he was saying was what I had been reading.

How do we respond when God wants us to do something? Are we cheerfully obedient or do we argue back — “Do I have to do that? I don’t want to do that.”

And this is the point where I was struck, because that is what I do, often. That is one of the things that I struggle with, holding back a part of myself from complete surrender because there are things I do not want to do, and I am afraid that the Lord will require it of me.

I am at heart a quiet, reserved person that does not do well in crowded noisy places. If I find myself in a situation that has many people and a good deal of talking and chaos, I find myself turning inward, mentally and emotionally closing myself down and off from what is going on around me.

I have never been outgoing, never willing to talk to people as others do. I have always felt inadequate to a task, always second guessing myself afterwards. Maybe it comes from the way I have been treated off and on during my life – as if I did not matter, as if what I had to say was inconsequential. Maybe it comes from being made fun of for something I said or did that to me did not seem to be something worthy of that treatment; but that, for whatever reason, I was made to feel humiliated afterward. And when the mockery comes from one that is closer to you than most, the hurt is doubly painful.

My family would probably be shocked to find that a good deal of my reserve comes from growing up with four older brothers that, as big brothers often do, make the younger sibling feel less than acceptable. I know they would feel terrible if they realized this, but growing up in a situation like that, even when it was done as childish teasing, it is easy to become withdrawn and reserved.

And, I guess when you repeatedly have others begin to talk right over the top of what you are trying to say, or make a face and out right change the subject while you are trying to talk makes one less and less likely to even open their mouths. You begin to feel as if you are not worth a whole bunch and you just need to stay away from other people and not talk to anyone.

At any rate, I have trouble stepping out into new areas, trying new things, and this keeps me from wanting to get myself into situations where I have to deal with others on a regular basis. I do not like to be boxed in and committed to doing something. I then either don’t want to do it when the time comes, or if it is an ongoing obligation I get half-way through, and want to quit.

I am getting better, but it is still a struggle.

So, I have a tendency to hold myself back, to not give my all completely to the Lord because of my own feelings of inadequacy and fear of shame. I oftentimes argue about not wanting to do something precisely for those reasons.

And He has been showing me that this is a sin that would surely block my prayers, and that He yearns for my complete surrender so that He can work with me and through me.

But now I must tell you …

I have never really thought through all of this, never really put it all clearly into words, never realized that all of this was hiding in my soul until I began writing this. It may have been in the back of my mind all this time, but as I sat here, hitting the keys to create this post, my thoughts veered off of my original plan and took me down this painful path. And as the words came, I could feel a gentle guidance bringing the words out and onto the screen, as if by sharing them I could get passed this.

And, even now, as I am writing this, I can feel His reassuring presence and there is a Loving Voice speaking to my heart saying,

“You are my child. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. I love you with a love everlasting. I chose you from the beginning of the world. Just because others made you feel inadequate, does not mean you are. You can do all things through Me because I will strengthen you. I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. But apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Praise the Lord!

© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com   2019