For years now, when I lay in bed and pray, I imagine myself laying at the feet of Jesus with my cheek resting on his nail-scarred feet, arms wrapped around His ankles. I am filled with such joy and peace at this image, whatever is troubling me vanishes.
One night I was struggling with a heavy burden, unable by myself to get out from under its weight. The tears and anguish that filled my heart pushed me into a state where my soul and mind were suddenly drifting heavenward.
This is a fictional account of that incident, changed slightly to fit the story line of an upcoming manuscript:
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Naomi stared at the man in front of her, mouth working in silence as she tried to form the protest that swelled in her heart and mind.
The scream was silent, finding no strength in sound. She writhed in protest, wanting to break the bonds that held her in the chair.
It could not be. It could not be.
Tears stung her eyes and slid down her face in silence. She laid her head on the table and sobbed into her arms.
The pain in her heart, and the heart-wrenching sobs pulled her from her sleep.
She opened her eyes, still buried in the agony of the dream; and looked out the window at the stars that filled the sky.
“Please, God,” she whispered into the darkness. “I know that I have not believed in You. I admit that I have never really, truly believed that You love me; but Joe says You do love me. He says You gave Your son for me. I know that I have never given You my life; but please God, if You are there, please, help me.”
She rolled, burying her face in the soft covering on her pillow and let her tears soak into the fabric.
She was drifting, drifting, until her face was no longer on her pillow.
She wrapped her arms tighter, feeling the warmth of the nail-scarred feet that her cheek rested on. Her tears continued to fall as she cried out for help that she could not give herself.
When she felt hands gripping her arms, lifting her into a pair of loving arms, she glanced down, noticing the scars there as well.
“My dear child.” The voice filled her with peace and love. “I will hold you here, close to me. I will be with you and give you strength as you go through this valley.”
Naomi felt peace and reassurance fill her, and rested in the everlasting arms, silently giving Him her heart and life.
“You will be with me?”
The arms tightened around her. “Yes, I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
She smiled slightly, feeling a love so immense, so pure; something she had never known before as she drifted again until she was once again aware of the pillow beneath her cheek.
She smiled again, drifting back into a peaceful sleep, assured that He would be with her no matter what came.
© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com, 2012