I stand at a crossroads in my life, wondering which direction I am supposed to take.
So many things have come to an end recently. So many transitions have occurred to bring me to this point; changes that demand a reaction, an adjustment in the course of my living.
One road looks safe and familiar, with easy resistance. It is well-lit and I can see it is more or less a continuation of my past, an avenue of my day-to-day living.
As I ponder that choice closer, I find myself wondering if it would be living, really living; or if it would be just existing.
There is no fear in this choice, because I have lived on this road for most of my adult life, with various side trips that all ultimately led me back to the same safe existence.
It seems to me that to just carry on from day to day, would not be living. It would be sitting in the same box, watching each day pass from my sight, safe and secure but with no real eternal value.
I turn and look in the other direction and I feel an uneasy fear begin to take hold.
This road is not lit with familiarity. It is full of twists and turns and upward climbs that hide what is ahead of me. I cannot see the outcome or where I would end up on the other side. I cannot see the potholes and stumbling blocks that litter that path.
It is definitely outside my comfort zone. It is outside the safe box from which I have watched my life go by.
I weigh my choices, knowing that I have to choose. I cannot go back, I must go forward. But to go forward, I must make the choice of which direction to go.
I pause, trying to see down that road, groping blindly for some sense of direction into the unknown.
I take my options and hold them up to the Lord, asking for His wisdom and guidance, asking for His will in this decision.
I am reminded of Paul’s letter to the Colossians and I begin to pray his prayer for myself. “Show me Your will. Fill me with knowledge and spiritual understanding so I can walk within Your will, and walk worthy of You and bring You glory. Help me to be fruitful in all that I do, to give thanks for the hope that is in me. Deliver me from the power of darkness, guide me as I step forward into the rest of my life.”
And then I see it. A tiny light coming through the darkness. It grows steadily and I feel hands reaching out to take mine; hands that still bear the scars made by nails.
As those hands grip mine, a peace and joy fill my soul and I hear Him whisper, “Follow Me. Do not lean on your own understanding.”
I want to ask questions, but He tells my heart, “Follow Me. Do not be afraid. I will be with you all the way.”
I feel the pull of those hands as he urges me to follow Him; and I step forward.
Question: Which road would you take?
© Drusilla Mott and https://drusillamott.wordpress.com, 2011